Chapter 4: The Test Moves On
OKAY, LET'S SEE HERE. I'VE GOTTA FIND THAT THINGIE WITH THE TEST THINGIES ON IT.
"Couldja hurry it UP?!? I'm dyin' here!" Ryo screeched, fending off the fawn's little wet nosie, which was nudging at his arm.
OKAY, OKAY, HOLD YOUR HORSES. HERE IT IS! IT WAS UNDER A COFFEE MUG. LOOKIE, ISN'T IT CUTE?!?
A mug poofed into view in front of Ryo, with a little cloud of pink smoke. It had a picture of all of the Sailor Senshi on it, inner AND outer, in the middle of their attacks.
I DON'T EVEN DRINK COFFEE! I JUST SAW THE SENSHI MUG, SCREAMED, AND BOUGHT IT! ANSWER ME! ISN'T... IT... CUTE?!
"Lovely," said Ryo, sarcastically. "Hey, it's not pink! Amazing!"
OF COURSE NOT, SILLY! THEN DA SENSHI WOULDN'T LOOK AS KEWL!
A little hook came out, grabbed the mug by the handle, and whisked it off.
OKAY, THE TEST. RYO!!!!
The voice suddenly became hard and demanding.
RYO OF THE WILDFIRE, YOUR TEST IF CLOSE AT HAND. THE HOUR DRAWS NIGH ON YOUR... YOU KNOW, STUFF.
There was the sound of shuffling papers.
JEEZ, THIS GUY WAS WORDY. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH... SO WHERE'S THE TEST THING? OH, HERE WE GO. RYO, CAN YOU STAND ON ONE FOOT, TOUCH YOUR FINGER TO YOUR NOSE, AND SING "MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB" WHILE HOPPING UP AND DOWN FOR ONE MINUTE WITHOUT FALLING?
Ryo was dumbfounded for a moment. "You've GOT to be kidding." Silence was his answer, save for an "Ahem!" Ryo sighed in submission, and hoisted one foot up behind him. "This is so embarassing!" he mumbled. He cleared his throat. "Are you timing this or do I have to?"
An hourglass appeared in front of him, along with a little checkered flag. Ryo reached his right index finger up to his nose, and grabbed his ankle with the left. "Ready!" The flag shivered around for a second (antici... pation, I guess. Hee! Ever seen Rocky Horror Picture Show?), then waved happily. The hourglass flipped over, and Ryo started hopping. "Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb," he sang quietly, his face turning as red as his sweater. "Mary had a little lamd, it's fleece was white as... DAMMIT!" He swore as he rammed his ankle into a short rock. He abruptly stopped hopping, as the ground came up quickly underneath him. "Oof!" He suddenly noticed a hissing sound, and looked up to see the hourglass melting, allowing the sand to poof out all over him.
Ryo squinched his eyes shut to keep sand from getting in them. He hacked and coughed, expelling the dust from his mouth, nose, and throat. Once the clouds of dust seemed to have stopped, he shook his head, letting it fly everywhere. He slowly opened his eyes, rubbing at them with his hands. When he withdrew them, he noticed, to his horror, that his hands were becoming a nasty shade of salmon. He screeched, and started rolling around on the ground, trying to get off the staining sand.
SORRY, MAN. THAT'S THE PUNISHMENT FOR NOT GETTING THIS PORTION OF THE TEST.
"Punishment? PUNISHMENT? I'M PINK!!!" Ryo stood full height, now all of his skin, not to mention his clothes, dyed salmon. "Pink, pink, pink, PINK, PINK!!!!!"
YEAH, LIKE THAT'S NOT PAINFULLY OBVIOUS. THERE IS A WAY FOR YOU TO PASS THIS PART AND BECOME... UN-PINK.
"Lord, anything!!!!"
OKAY, THIS IS KINDA LAST RESORT, BUT HERE IT IS. DO YOU KNOW HOW TO KNIT AT ALL?
"Well, not really, but I'll try ANYTHING!"
OKAY, SEE, THE ANCIENT CAME UP WITH THIS BACKUP, IN CASE THE PERSON DIDN'T KNOW THE WORDS TO "MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB" OR IF THEY ONLY HAD ONE LEG OR SOMETHING. I'LL NEED YOU TO KNIT ME A NICE PAIR OF ZOCKS. GREEN AND BLUE STRIPED, IF YOU DON'T MIND.
"Fine. I've watched my grandma knit enough, I should be able to figger it out." A basket of yarn appeared in front of him, along with a pair of shiny new red knitting needles. "Hey, my favorite color! Thanks!"
NO PROBLEM. NOW, I WANT MY ZOCKS!
"Okay. You... do mean 'socks', right?"
YEAH.
"Just checking." A rocking chair poofed into view, and Ryo had a seat, pulling out the needles and the ball of green yarn. "Let's see... casting on...."
* * *
"Okay, knit one, purl two, and... just two more seconds! DONE!" Ryo proudly held up a pair of green and blue striped socks. He put them on the ground, and they went away, with the basket, needles, and chair (which dumped Ryo unceremoniously onto the ground, but... oh, well!) "Now can I be... ya know. Not pink?"
SURE! HEY, THESE ARE WARM! AND COMFY! GOOD STITCHERY, WILDFIRE! I'M IMPRESSED! HERE YA GO!
A bottle reading "Drink Me" appeared in front of Ryo, and he grabbed it and did as he was told. He drank every drop, remarking to himself that it tasted a bit like liquid rice pudding. (Yum, yum, yum!) He looked down, satisfied as his hands morphed back to their original color. "Now where do I go? Hope there's no more 'Barb' for me."
CHECK IT OUT. SEE OVER THERE? THAT BIG OL' TREE? HOP INTO THE KNOTHOLE.
Ryo gave a distrusting look... aimed at no place in particular.
TRUST ME!
"Okayyyyy," said Ryo, tentatively sticking his hand into the small hole. He yelped, as the rest of him was quickly sucked up behind it, making a strange slurping sound.