Chapter 3: Pink
When we last left our main character, he was going like this...
"AAAAAUUUGGGGGHHHHH!!!!"
Remember? He'd just been let into a room by a crazed flight attendant after seeing this weird old truck drivin' man wearing a tutu leap away. That's about it. Okay, here's more story, with a little lead-in from last time. And now, here it goes...
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"AAAAAUUUGGGGGHHHHH!!!!" screamed Ryo. His eyes gazed with horror over the garden.
There were little sweet-smelling flowers everywhere. Tiny lights flitted among them, and when one passed directly in front of Ryo, he saw that they were little faeries. Ther were all types of flowers, and each one was exotic and lovely. There were vines around, hanging on the brick walls, and there were leaves everywhere. In the middle of this amazing spectacle of botany, there was a small gazebo with roses growing up the posts and birds flying around the top, chirping happy songs. A young fawn tentatively came up and sniffed Ryo's hand, then gently nudged it affectionately. But Ryo was too petrified to do anything because...
"Oh, my God, everything's PINK!!! I HATE PINK!"
It was true. The flowers, faeries, and the gazebo were pink. Amazingly, the leaves, vines, the fawn, and the birds were also all a lovely shade of light pink. Ryo stumbled backwards, his head reeling from the cotton-candy-colored display in front of him. "I'm being punished, aren't I?"
NO, YOU MACHO RETARD! THIS IS A TEST!
"Of what? My true and deep-running hatred for sissy colors like pink?"
COULD BE. THERE ARE A SERIES OF TESTS. THEY STEM FROM THE WEAKNESSES, FEARS, AND DISLIKES OF YOUR MIND. THEY ALSO TEST BASIC NECESSARY KNOWLEDGE AND SKILLS YOU NEED TO LEAD THE OTHER RONIN WARRIORS. IT'S BASICALLY A TEST SET UP BY THE ANCIENT LONG AGO TO FIND OUT IF THE LEADERS WERE WORTHY. YOU JUST DIDN'T TAKE IT RIGHT AWAY BECAUSE OF THE DYNASTY THREAT. AND, WELL, AFTER THE ANCIENT PASSED ON, THE TEST-GIVING PRIVILEGES WERE GIVEN TO ME! THOUGH, I CAN'T IMAGINE WHY. I NEVER EVEN MET THE GUY. I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE AFRAID OF PINK! IT'S A COLOR!
"I'm not afraid of it," he said, defensively. "I just don't like it!" The fawn nudged up against his hand again. "AAAAUUUUGGGGH!! MAKE IT GO AWAY!" Ryo skittered up a tree, barking at the fawn from his spot among the foliage. The fawn just put two hooves on the trunk and stood against the trunk with happy loving li'l brown eyes.
AW! RYO, I THINK YOU'VE GOT A NEW LITTLE FRIEND!
"Aw, great," he muttered. "Not only do I have to clean up after that big smelly-but-nice ol' cat White Blaze and be followed at all times by Yuli the Spore, but NOW I've got a bloodthirsty pink fawn chasing me up trees! This is a greeeeaaaat time to be alive! Praise da Lawd!"
Suddenly, eight people from a gospel chorus appeared, clapping their hands wildly and singing "This Little Light of Mine." They were also pink. Ryo screamed and fell out of the tree.
OY. THIS IS GOING TO BE A LONG STORY. THE BOY IS AFRAID OF PINK! IT'S A COLOR! AND A KINDA PRETTY COLOR, ON A FAWN.
A little hand appeared out of nowhere and scratched the fawn behind the ear. It made happy sounds, and nudged the hand around. A giggle resounded through the place from an unseen origin.
CUT THAT OUT, YOU ADORABLE LITTLE BABY-BOO!
"Hello! Test of stuff? Pink room?"
OH, OKAY! JUST ONE SECOND. I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO DO THIS.
"What?" Ryo said, warily.
YOU'LL SEE. AHEM, AHEM... CAN I GET AN AMEN?
"AAAAA-MEN!" chorused the singers, then poofed out of view.
"Thank you very much," said Ryo, gratefully. "I think I'll have that song in my head until the end of time, now. Dang it! Okay, now. Let's see...how do I get out of here?"