Note: This installment introduces a new "weapon" to the mix. Lots more fun with the Warlords, too. Anyhoo, this picks up where DT5 left off. I just couldn't leave Sage in that predicament and not explain how he got out. (WARNING: Seiji not happy.) Enjoy!
Dais slumped low into the comfortable embrace of the couch, a large bowl of popcorn in his lap, stuck on the middle cushion. On one side sat Kento, a bowl of his own (nearly half empty by this time) resting on his crossed legs. To the other side was Ryo, legs curled up under him and leaning against the armrest. The Warlord sighed and shook his head slightly, then said, "I don't know where else they would be keeping him."
"Spammit! How are we going to get to him there?" Rowen blurted out in angered worry.
"Spammit?" Cye asked, staring at the other boy in complete incomprehension.
"Oh, uh," Rowen began, his cheeks a bit pink as his explained, "Mia wants me to tone down my profanity. Y'know, for Yuli's sake? I figgered the easiest way to do that would be to start using silly words instead."
Clearly thinking Rowen had lost it (although, in reality, he'd never had it in the first place), Cye turned back to the others and spoke to Dais. "You know how we could get in there. Will you help us?"
The Warlord looked torn between helping his new-found friends and sticking up for the man (spirit, demon, whatever) that had signed his paycheck for the past four hundred and some odd years. Seems he was still taken by the concept of employee loyalty. "I don't know about that. I mean, I could give you directions - but actually helping? Talpa would probably dock my pay for the next century."
"Oh, come on, Dais. Ya gotta help us," Ryo begged him.
Elsewhere...
Sage, standing on his tippy-toes, snatched a glance of the area outside the door of his cell. There wasn't much to see.
He dropped down to sit on the dirty stone floor, wincing as he pulled out from under his bum the hard, rusty shackle he'd landed on.
Snarling at it, he tossed it across the cell, where it made a harsh clanking as it crashed into the far wall. Sage scratched at his head, his hair feeling grungy and limp in his fingers. Definitely not up to his usual standards.
He had to find a way out of here, if he could. Sage sucked at a tooth as he thought. Ack! It was furry. A quick check proved to him that the rest of his pearly whites were just as animalistic. Crap.
The list of what he wouldn't do for a toothbrush at that moment was rather short. He was gonna kill someone for putting him through this humiliating experience. It didn't exactly matter whom at the moment, either.
"Against the back wall!"
Sage looked up at the door and frowned at the raspy, grave-like voice that floated over from the other side. What did his pig-dog captors want from him now? He did as the guard ordered and stood against the wall opposite the door. "Do you want me to assume the position, too?" he muttered sarcastically.
"No. Just standing against the wall will be quite adequate, thank you."
Sage blanched. He hadn't meant for the creature to hear that. He'd have to watch what he said a bit better. There was no telling what they might do if he pissed them off badly enough.
The soldier pushed the door open and gave a quick nod of approval. It scuttled into the cell and eyed Sage... if you could call it that, considering that Talpa's soldiers really don't have eyes, per se. It set in the middle of the floor a heavy and cracked wooden trencher mounded with a lumpy, greyish mass that smelled about as good as it looked and tasted worse. "Eat," the soldier commanded, "Master Talpa doesn't want you dying on us... yet."
It moved back to the door and watched the blond prisoner slowly inch toward the revolting concoction on the plate. Obviously, the human wasn't very fond of the junk. Pausing to consider, the soldier thought that if it still ate food, it would probably be completely nauseated with what it had set out for the Ronin as well.
"Can I ask you a question?"
The soldier didn't see a reason why not, so it nodded an affirmative.
"I was lead to believe that you guys couldn't talk - weren't given voices. Why do you have one?" Sage looked truly curious. It was morbid curiousity but curiousity nonetheless.
After a moment, the soldier replied, "Because I'm special," and left, slamming the door behind it and turning the lock with a heavy, eardrum bursting cacophony of tumblers screeching a rusty protest at the harsh treatment.
Sage kicked the trencher aside, sending the entirely unappetising contents splattering across the already filthy floor. He wasn't on the verge of death by starvation yet and that's what it would take to make him eat the so-called food.
____
"So, what do you think?" Anubis asked the others in the kitchen with him.
Kayura could only nod fervently, her mouth stuffed, and flash a victory-sign at the Warlord of Cruelty. Almost before she had swallowed, she had another bite of the colorful meal filling the open space.
"What's it called again?" Cale questioned, the unfamiliar fork held awkwardly in his right hand.
"Lasnanannalaas," Kayura attempted to tell him around her latest mouthful.
With a snicker, Anubis clarified, "Lasagna."
"Ah! Good stuff," Cale complimented. "Where did you learn to make it?"
Anubis picked up a slick coated magazine off the counter and tossed it down in front of Cale. The blue-haired Warlord studied the cover and discovered it was the latest edition of Demon Chef's Weekly. It proclaimed to have a large, special section of modern Human Realm recipes, including seven different lasagnas. He nodded appreciation.
"Y'cudda ma'et ath a coo," Kayura told a modestly humble Anubis as she shoveled in another massive bite of lasagna.
"Yeah, well, if this job hadn't come through," Anubis quietly informed her, honestly trying not to sound like he was bragging, "I would have been head chef at the Chez MaSho."
"Mmmmmm! Good husband material! Do you do windows?"
Cale laughed as Anubis nodded, and said, "Yep. Windows, laundry, toilets... I do it all."
Gazing up at the red-haired Warlord with starry, heart-filled eyes, Kayura playfully asked, "Marry me?"
Just as playfully, Anubis replied, "Sorry, I can't. I'm already married to my work."
Making a face of absurd disgust, Cale commented, "Eeewww! That means you're married to Talpa! Gross!"
Kayura giggled, pounding her fists on the table. Anubis swacked Cale upside the head and snapped off a witty comeback, "Shut up."
Then, together, they all looked at the door as Sekhmet walked into the kitchen with them. The Warlord of Venom almost flew out of his skin when he glanced up and saw that he wasn't alone. "What are you all doing here?"
"Being guinea pigs for Anubis' experiments," Cale told him.
"Hey, Sekh, try this," Anubis said, shoving him into a chair and placing a portion of lasagna in front of him.
"Are you trying to poison me or something?" Sekhmet questioned suspiciously, eyeing Anubis warily.
With a beleaguered sigh, Anubis said, "Sekhmet, even if it was poisoned, it wouldn't affect you. Remember?"
"Oh yeah."
____
The door creaked open again. They'd already brought him food today. What could they be after now?
"Master Talpa wants you in the throne room, Halo," graveled the same soldier that had come by earlier. "Can you be a good boy and walk nicely, or do I have to restrain you?"
Sage muttered something obscene then said, "Let's just go."
The soldier nodded and got a tight grasp on Sage's arm to lead him down the hall. As soon as they were out the door, Sage got to work.
He snaked his foot around the soldiers near leg and dropped it hard on its back, yanked his arm free of its hand. The rage that had built during the time of his holding broke loose and he turned about to stomp on the prone soldier. Not getting enough satisfaction out of that, Sage stood on the thing's chest and jumped up and down, growling aloud as the metal creaked and started to bend under his full-weight blows.
"I'm. Very. Angry. Right. Now," he pronounced one word with each landing. "I. Hate. You. And. All. Of. Your. Friends!" On the last word, Sage threw his foot at the soldier's head in a well-placed kick and sent the helmet flying out of sight.
The armor under him sinking as the spirit that had inhabited it dissipated, Sage blinked down at his feet, not quite comprehending yet that it was over. Then, slowly, a grin worked over his face. He was free. Okay, maybe he was only part of the way free but it was better than he had been. Before he headed out of the dungeon, Sage grabbed up the soldier's keys (never know if you'll run into other locked doors!) and kicked once more at the empty armor.
____
"Hn. I fold." Cale threw his cards down on the table in irritation. He'd lost nearly all the coin he'd brought to the table to Anubis and Sekhmet already, and they'd only been playing for about an hour. With the way they played poker, that was only four hands.
"What about you?" Sekhmet asked Anubis with a sly grin. Oh, he was glad they'd cleared the game room idea with Talpa. It was nice to have somewhere to hang out and just be a guy.
Showing not a trace of emotion, Anubis quietly pushed to some coins to the center of the table and said, "I raise you three silver."
Thinking he knew a bluff when he saw one, Sekhmet gloatingly replied, "I'll see that and call. What've ya got, Carrot Top?"
"Shut up, Snake-breath." Anubis laid out his cards.
Sekhmet sighed. Anubis hadn't been bluffing and that straight flush beat his three aces no problem. "This is more fun with Dais."
"I don't know about that," Anubis commented thoughtfully. "I kinda like winning."
____
Sage pushed open the newest door he'd come across and was surprised to find hidden behind it a kitchen... a nice, fairly modern one. Then, a thought occurred to him. He could find something to help himself here and - opening the fridge - maybe something decent to snack on. He quickly snagged a box of takeout and started searching the drawers for something to eat the stuff with. Sage was rather abhorrent to eating with his fingers unless he was presented absolutely no other way.
The third drawer he dragged open made him blink in surprise. It was a junk drawer. (Hey, everyone's got them!) Staring back at him was his armor orb. They had just tossed it it into a JUNK DRAWER?! How could anyone be so boorish as to do something like that? He picked the crystal sphere up and carefully stowed it away in a pocket.
Then, something else in the drawer caught his eye. He grinned a dark and evil grin, reaching for what had caused his glee. Three brand new rolls of duct tape. The plastic wrap hadn't even been removed yet. He shoved them in his jacket, thankful for the first time that it had large pockets.
Another object flashed brightly in the florescent lighting (florescent lights in the Nether Realm??) as he made to shut the drawer. What was this? Sage shoved the odd bits of junk out of the way and felt suddenly devious. Grabbing up the silver-shining thing, he crammed that into a pocket as well. He was ready now for anyone or thing that came after him. He tossed aside the box of leftover takeout and left the kitchen. He was going home.
____
"Halo has escaped," grated Talpa's voice on their ears. "Do something about it."
"Yes, ma'am," Cale muttered.
"I heard that, Cale."
"Forgive me, Master," Cale pleaded, feeling like a little boy caught with his hand in the cookie jar.
"Never mind that. I want you to get out there and recapture Halo."
"Yes, Master Talpa," Anubis replied to the voice. As they all stood and headed out of the room, Anubis paused to go back to the table and shove his winnings to his seat.
"NOW!"
"I'm goin', I'm goin'! Geez, someone needs a vacation, don't they?"
____
"Stop right there, Halo," Cale commanded the Ronin. He and the others had split up to hopefully find the blond faster. "You're not going anywhere."
Sage simply stood where he was, in the middle of the hall and stared at the Warlord.
"Well, aren't you going to try and stop me from capturing you again?"
Sage shook his head, indicating the negative.
"Okay. If you're going to make it easy, follow me if you would."
Cale then stupidly turned his back on Halo to lead the way back to the dungeon cell that he'd been held in. The Warlord barely had time to comprehend the low growl of supreme irritation Sage issued before the floor came flying at his face. He could feel the weight of Halo heavy on his back and then a loud and long ripping sound that he couldn't readily identify.
In a short matter of minutes, Sage sniffed and gazed down on his handiwork. Duct tape grey was a good color for Cale, he decided, and then he moved on through the halls.
____
"We meet again, Halo," Sekhmet said, sounding very nicely like an evil guy should. Oh, he was gonna get big kudos from Talpa for catching Halo again. Okay, so maybe he hadn't actually been the one to catch Halo the first time, but Talpa didn't know that.
"Hello, Sekhmet. Ready to rumble?" The Warlord of Venom did not miss the manic gleam in Sage's eyes.
"Bring it on!"
Sage leapt at Sekhmet and quickly pummeled him into the wall. Groaning in pain, Sekhmet slipped into a pile on the floor and twitched a little as the sticky, grey tape once again sounded its battle cry.
____
He was getting close to the exit, Sage could feel it. Soon, he could get home and kick some Ronin hiney. It was the least they'd earned for forgetting about him.
____
Anubis watched the Ronin scuttle around the halls from a short distance. He'd been shadowing Halo for only a few minutes and was wondering where Cale and Sekhmet had gotten off to. He stopped in his tracks when Halo suddenly swung around to face him.
"Come on out, Anubis. I know you're there," Sage called angrily.
His hand was straying toward his pocket, Anubis noticed. Thinking it better to take the offensive, Anubis lashed out at the Ronin, landing his first three punches no problem. The fourth, however, was turned against him when Sage clenched his hands tight around Anubis' wrist and, with a quick swivel on his heels, sent the Warlord over his shoulder.
Anubis landed in a breath-blasting THUD on his back. He could only struggle to regain the air his lungs needed as Sage stood straddled over him, duct tape in hand.
____
He'd finally reached the front entrance of the palace. If he had any hope of getting home, he knew he had to get outside. Sage was glad he'd only run into the three Warlords in his run. He was almost out of duct tape. The few feet that were left were NOT enough to wrap anyone else.
"And just where do you think you're going, Halo?" asked a snooty feminine voice from behind him. Damn! It was Kayura. How could he have forgotten about Psycho Chick?
"I'm going home."
"How do you intend to do that? You can't open a Gate and no one here will do it for you."
"We'll see about that," he returned before he spun about and threw himself at her. Sage crashed heavily onto the floor as Kayura jumped well out of his reach. He groaned as she danced over his back and waited for him to regain his feet.
She swung a kick at his face and yipped when he suddenly caught and flung her foot back the way it had come. Her balance was gone and Sage rushed her, shoving her forcefully against the heavy wooden doors. "Waaaah! Oof!"
Sage pulled back and twisted her so her back was to the wood. Still dazed from the impact, Kayura only blinked and licked her lips as Sage taped her arms far out to either side, secured only at the wrists, and taped her ankles against the door, as well. The last foot of tape, he ripped in half and doubled up over her mouth. No way was she going to scream and give his location away.
She had nearly come back to herself when the Ronin pulled out something else. It was shiny and silvery...and made a loud KA-THWUNK-CLICK noise when he set it against the door. The material of her kimono drew tighter against her arms and moved higher with each repetition of this sound. Soon, he'd fastened her entire body solidly and firmly to the wood.
When Sage stepped back to look at his job, he grinned, pleased with the result. He held the staple gun up before Kayura's face and threatened, "Since I know you can, open a Gate for me now, or I will staple your lips to your eyebrows." He jiggled his weapon spiritedly and shot off a couple of warning staples into the door beside her head.
She nodded tearfully, all color drained from her face, and wiggled the fingers of one hand, calling up a Gate to send the blond demonspawn home. Anything to get him and that staple gun away from her.
Nodding his approval, Sage saluted her and stepped through the swirling mass of visible magical energy.
____
"Are you sure you won't help us, Dais?" Ryo asked one last time.
"I can't. I'll get into deep enough trouble for the little bit of information I've already given you."
"Hmm. Guess we'll see you when we get back then?"
Dais shrugged noncommittally and watched as the Ronins prepared to leave in search of Sage.
"None of you are going anywhere until I'm done with you," a voice told them all suddenly. They turned to stare at something that could have been Sage... if Sage hadn't been able to pamper himself like usual for a couple of weeks - which, they remembered, he hadn't.
"Sage, you're back!" cried Yuli happily.
A dark glare from the blond sent the young boy scurrying for safety behind the couch and White Blaze.
Sage then ignored him and stalked over to where Dais sat uneasily on the couch. "YOU are leaving now." Grabbing him by the collar, Sage dragged the white-haired Warlord out of the living room, the others following at a discreet distance.
They stared as Sage literally punted Dais through a quickly vanishing Gate to the Nether Realm, then cringed away from his mad, pale eyes as he turned back to look on them.
"You may want to start running," Sage warned them. As they all acknowledged (whether with a silent nod or a quiet "uh-huh") Sage drew out once again the staple gun and aimed... at Ryo's forehead.
Before anyone could react, he'd set the staples to flying. The first hit Ryo, next Cye (in the leg), then Kento (in the gut), and then Rowen (in the ass). Then, it became a game of whomever he could hit while he chased them through the back yard.
END
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Next: Crossover time! The subtitle: "Foxy...Wait, He's Not a Lady"