Sekhmet yawned hugely, trying to keep his purple eyelids open. It wasn't working. The sight of Kale, strewn out across the couch opposite him, snoring like a Mac truck, just made him yawn again. Dais was ignoring both of them, looking into one of his illusions. Anubis was... somewhere.
Probably reading, the green-haired man thought. That guy's a complete and total bookworm. I don't even know where he got half those scrolls.
Bored, he lazily took the remote and turned on the TV. They were lucky to convince Talpa that they needed one. The alibi they had used was that it helped them come up with plans to conquer the mortal world. It was the lamest excuse in both the mortal and the Netherworld, but it had worked. Now it provided entertainment when the action was slow. Or when Talpa was mad at them, which was usually always.
Sekhmet was flipping through the channels when he first saw it. It was a 3D animation commercial, and frankly, it looked pretty cool. It showed a guy flying through the air, a huge red-black pillar shooting towards Earth, the same guy hugging a pretty girl, and another blond girl with glasses blowing the hell out of a robot. The commercial ended with the title "Final Fantasy VIII" and something saying in a demented voice, "Playstation."
Cool, thought Sekhmet, and dismissed it. He began channel surfing again. A few channels later, he saw a little purple dragon headbutting fat frogs, stealing their jewels, and flaming flocks of sheep.
Ha ha! Sekhmet laughed mentally. Flaming sheep; sounds fun. 'Yeah, I like those lamp chops well-done, thanks!'
He watched the commercial until it ended, with that same demented voice saying, "Playstation."
Playstation again, huh? Just what is it? He kept flipping through the channels, and saw commercials for Mortal Kombat, DragonballZ, Tomba, Crash Bandicoot I, II and III. He saw Final Fantasy VII and VIII again, James Bond, Pocket and Puzzle Games, MechWarrior, WarCraft, and Tomb Raider. His already huge eyes nearly popped out of their sockets at the sight of Lara Croft.
All these games; but what is Playstation?! he thought irritably. Finally, he found a commercial for a Circuit City sale, and Playstations were 30% off. The picture told him all he needed to know; it was a device in which you placed a CD - whatever that was - and hooked into the TV. With all these games for it, he decided it might be neat to get. Anything to get out of cleaning up after Dais' spiders again. He had been forever trying to housebreak his arachnids, but it wasn't working. And the worst part was, Talpa made everybody clean up after them!
Sekhmet stood up, now very much awake with the prospect of something to do. He went over to Dais and asked for an illusion of normal mortal clothes for some prank on Anubis. Dais, who was preoccupied at the time, but always willing to pull a prank on someone, threw a ghost jacket, shoes and pants at Sekhmet, who took them without so much as a 'thank you'. Once he was out of sight, the green-haired Warlord threw the 'clothes' on himself, and then realized that he had no money.
Hmm. I can't go stirring up trouble without Talpa or the Ronin Warriors noticing. I need money. But where can I get some?
He looked around for something that might be of value. Then he remembered that Kale had stolen a purse from some old woman when he had been mad once, after he had gotten his tail kicked by Halo. There might be some money in there.
Slipping quietly through the castle, Sekhmet approached Kale's room. He knew Kale would kill him if he found him snooping around in his room, but fortunately, Kale was right where he had left him; konked out on the couch.
Sekhmet went inside. It was dark; that much was to be expected. Kale never turned on a light. There weren't even any candles in there. Fortunately, Sekhmet was the best at seeing in the dark, next to the scarred Warlord. So he didn't stumble too much.
He finally found what he was looking for; a white, slightly beat-up, leather handbag. Why Kale kept it, he had no clue at first. But as he rummaged through it, he began to understand why. It was full of fascinating things; a reflective surface attached to some sort of powder case with a fuzzy thing inside that he thought was alive at first; a kind of spray that smelled strange; a sort of oily cream that made his hand tingle; several long stick-like things that must be writing implements; something that looked like a crayon, only you turned it to expose the slightly damp red part; and a black, oblong leather thing with a zipper.
Sekhmet didn't find any money in the rest of the purse, so he opened the zipper. His hopes weren't too high, though. If he hadn't found anything in the rest of the purse, what was in here?
Fortunately, she had been a rich old spinster, and her wallet was loaded with cash. Sekhmet's eyes widened when he saw the bills and coins flow from the black case. There were numbers on the corners; 10, 20, 50, and 100.
Wow. With all this money, I'll definitely be able to get a Playstation! he thought happily. He stuffed the money back in the black case and slipped it under his arm - the illusion didn't have any pockets that would act like pockets - and teleported from the castle.
____
Once in the mortal world, Sekhmet wished he'd asked Dais for a hat. People were staring at him; his green hair and purple eyes tended to attract attention in this bland society. Sekhmet slouched and tried to look tough. People stopped staring after a few moments, dismissing him as some kind of punk. Not for the first time, the Warlord was glad that, even though he was over four hundred years old, he still looked like he was twenty.
He found the Circuit City building with little difficulty; it was the only one that looked like a gigantic red plug. He walked inside, and was nearly overwhelmed by the sheer sensory overload. Sound blasted at him through dozens of different speakers. Walls of television screens caught his wondering eyes. The place was huge! Where was he ever going to find a Playstation?
"Can I help you?"
Sekhmet nearly jumped. The sales associate was smiling at him, trying to look friendly, although distinctly ruffled at his appearance. Sekhmet just stared.
"Excuse me, sir?"
"Er... yes," he replied, giving himself a mental shake. "I'm looking for a Playstation."
The sales associate smiled. "You're in luck. We're having a sale on all gaming materials. 30% off! Right this way, sir."
Sekhmet followed the man, still bewildered. He didn't like it when they went around corners; he felt safer when he could see the door.
"Here we are," the man said, snapping him out of his thoughts. "Playstations galore! And over on that wall, all the games and accessories."
"Um, thanks." Sekhmet began examining the Playstations, hoping the man would leave. To his relief, he did. The Warlord went over to the game wall, looking for Tomb Raider. He found it, as well as DragonballZ, Mortal Kombat, Final Fantasy VII and VIII. When he checked the prices, he saw that he barely had enough cash to cover them and the Playstation both.
Oh, well. It's not like we're going to be using cash again, so what's the point?
Gathering up everything, he headed for the sales counter, where he dumped the Playstation and five games onto the carrier belt. He got through the checkout without relative trouble - he made sure he wasn't in the line that said 'exact change only', because he didn't even know what that meant - and walked outside into the bright sunlight, a plastic bag in each hand.
Sneaking down a deserted alleyway, Sekhmet ditched the bags and gathered everything in his arms. He also banished the illusions, leaving him 'naked' in his subarmor. Anyone who saw him now was sure to recognize him as from the Dynasty. But nobody came around the corner, so Sekhmet teleported back to the castle.
____
"Hey, Sek, what'ja got?" Dais asked, stretching. Apparently, he had been crouching since the last time Sekhmet saw him.
"Something. C'mon." Dais wasn't blind to the excitement in Sekhmet's voice. "But don't tell Talpa. He'll kill me."
Curiosity piqued, Dais followed Sekhmet into the TV room, where the Warlord dumped his prizes on the carpet. "What is it?" the one-eyed man asked, confused, but impressed. Sekhmet had managed to slip this by Talpa?
"It's called a Playstation," Sekhmet told him, grinning down at the machine. "I saw it on the TV, and figured it was better than cleaning up after your spiders."
Dais didn't take offense. Even he hated cleaning up after them. "So what do you do?"
Sekhmet frowned at the thing. "I'm not sure. But I think you plug it into the TV."
"How's that supposed to work?" Dais asked, bending over the box, looking for directions.
Sekhmet shrugged. "Dunno. Lemme look." He sat down and opened the thing up. Instead of finding a machine, however, he found styrafoam. A lot of it.
"Huh? What's this?" Confused, he pulled it out and lifted the top slab off, to reveal a shiny new Playstation.
"Wow." Dais' one eye widened, and Sekhmet grinned. Gingerly, he lifted the machine out of the styrafoam, which was followed by a ton of cords and wires tied together with pieces of twisted plastic.
Sekhmet was staring stupidly at the wires, trying to figure out where they went while Dais groped inside the box. "Hey! There's something else in here!" He pulled out a thick pamphlet of paper. "Instructions!"
"Hey, cool! Lemme see." Sekhmet snatched the directions out of Dais' hand and began reading. But it wasn't too long before he was confused again. The directions were in six languages, and he was having trouble figuring out which one was which. Meanwhile, it was now Dais' turn to be confounded by the cords. Kale was still snoring.
"Perhaps I could be of assistance?"
The two jumped, thinking it was Talpa. But no, only Anubis was standing in the doorway, a smirk on his face.
Sekhmet sighed in relief. "Oh, it's only you, Anubis. I thought Talpa found us out."
Now Anubis was definitely interested. "Found what out?" he asked, then he saw the Playstation. His eyes went wide. "You managed to get one of those?"
Sekhmet nodded, smirking. Then he went back to figuring out the directions. "Stupid manufacturers. How many languages can one person read?"
"I can read ten," Anubis supplied. Dais just shook his head and tried to figure out the difference between the red-ended plug and the three-pronged one.
"Well, you'll only need six for this," Sekhmet responded irritably. He was staring at it when it was snatched away by Anubis. "Hey, gimme that!"
The cinnabar-haired Warlord snorted. "What, so you can read it? You can barely read the nutrition information on your cereal box."
Sekhmet started to pout. "S'not my fault they put in all those confusing lines and numbers," he muttered disconsolately, sounding like a six-year old. Dais ignored them both. Kale muttered something like "Mimblewimble," and turned over.
Anubis looked at the directions for a moment, and tossed them away with a hauty smirk. "I know what to do," he announced, taking the Playstation from Dais and striding over to the TV, where he began to lug the cabinet forward.
Dais and Sekhmet just looked at each other, the unspoken thought hanging between them: Uh-oh.
"Hey, Anubis," Sekhmet said, standing up. "Go easy, okay? I can't get another one of those."
"I... know... what I'm... doing..." Anubis responded heatedly, trying to insert a plug into a socket. "Yiyiyiyiyiyiiiyi!"
Both Sekhmet and Dais heard Anubis' outcry, and they both saw him shoot across the room to crash with a thud into the opposite wall. He had a very unattractive grimace plastered to his face, was completely singed, and his hair was standing up straight in every which way.
Dais started sniggering. Sekhmet muttered, "And you thought my hair was bad," before cracking up as well. Kale didn't budge throughout the whole ruckus.
Anubis shook his head, clearing it from the shock that inevitably comes when one gets electrocuted, and growled at his fellow Warlords. Before he could say anything, however, the front half of Sekhmet had disappeared behind the TV. The directions were also missing from where Anubis had tossed them on the floor.
"Okay, this looks like it," Sekhmet could be heard muttering. Anubis tried to flatten his hair, only partially succeeding, and went over to where Sekhmet was. Dais, smothering giggles, followed.
"This looks like what?" Anubis demanded, poking his head behind the television stand. So did Dais, and they all peered down at Sekhmet.
"The power cord," he responded, then grimaced up at them.
Anubis shook his head. "Uh-uh, man, you're doing that."
Sekhmet whimpered slightly. Truth to tell, they didn't have a power outlet. Well, not in the conventional sense. When they got the TV, Talpa had created a small outlet that led directly into the Netherworld's energy supply. It was a small, purple-pink, glowing hole in the wall into which the TV cord disappeared.
Steeling himself, Sekhmet held up the power cord, and gingerly began ushering it closer and closer to the glowing hole. When he finally did, the light sucked the cord in, shocking the poor Warlord. Sekhmet yelped and let go. The cord flew into the hole like a snake being sucked up in a vacuum cleaner. Then it went slack, and it looked just like the television cord.
Sekhmet shook his shocked hand for a moment, then grinned a silly grin up at his fellow Warlords. Dais smiled, and Anubis just shook his head and wandered back to the couch.
"All that noise and he still hasn't woken up," he commented, staring over Kale, who had drool sliding down a corner of his mouth.
"He sleeps like a rock, and snores like a dragon with heartburn," Dais commented. "Trust me, you'd know if your quarters were right next to his."
"Fortunately, they're not," Anubis replied, refusing to feel sorry for the one-eyed man. Dais just rolled his good eye and turned back to Sekhmet, who had, by now, finished installing all the various cables. "Hey, Sek, what kinda games did'ja get?"
Sekhmet looked up from his work, a half-cheesy, half-sly grin on his face. "A few," he responded, and, after installing a final cord, lugged the Playstation out from behind the TV. He reached for the games, and held them up.
"DragonballZ - hey, you like that show, don't you, Anubis?" Dais said, looking over his shoulder.
Anubis went slightly red and said quickly, "I just watch it when Kale does." Kale's response was a loud chainsaw-quality snore.
Dais smirked, then looked back at the games. "Mortal Kombat - hey, cool - Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VIII - that was supposed to be good." His one eye almost popped out of his head when he saw Tomb Raider.
"Well, what's the last one?" Anubis asked, annoyed. His inquiry was met by strange giggles from both Sekhmet and Dais. Intrigued, Anubis went over to the two, and now it was his turn to giggle. "Oh, damn, don't show that one to Kale. He'll steal it."
"Snort... hzzm... ptha... hm, wha?" Kale had woken up, and was now in a half-sitting position on the couch, blinking rather stupidly at the other three. The other Warlords shut up and put on innocent smiles.
"Oh, hi, Kale, how'ya doin'?" Dais asked, trying to keep from laughing.
"Huh?" Kale asked, blinking a few more times. Then he saw something new hooked into the TV. "Hey, is that what I think it is?"
"Yup," Sekhmet responded proudly. "A brand new Playstation. Don't tip Talpa off, though. You know what'll happen if he finds out."
"I'm not that stupid," Kale snapped, getting up and going over to the Playstation. The other three had to smother sniggers at the inaccuracy of that particular statement. Kale stared admiringly at the piece of machinery, not noticing the games on the floor or that Sekhmet was hiding Tomb Raider behind his back. "How'ja get it in here without Talpa noticing? Or the Ronin Warriors, for that matter."
"I bought it," Sekhmet said. "I actually went to a store and bought it. I didn't kill anyone. I know," he told the three stares that last bit of information earned him. "I surprised even myself. I really wanted to get some of those people for the way they were staring at me."
"Did you give him clothes, Dais?" Kale asked.
"Um, yeah. He asked for some normal mortal clothes for a prank. Didn't know he was going to be using them."
"Yeah, and I wished I'd asked you for a hat," Sekhmet informed them. "Apparently, those puny little mortals have never seen a beauty like me." He drew himself up proudly.
"Beauty, my hind end," Anubis exclaimed, smacking Sekhmet across the back of the head. "You probably looked stoned to those people! The only reason we know-"
"At least, we think," Kale interjected somewhat nastily.
"-you're not is because we know that poison and narcotics don't have any effect on you!" Anubis finished shouting, standing with his hands on his hips, glaring down at the green-haired man. "Although you know," he added, a malicious smirk beginning to play its way across his face, "it's not like you could tell."
Sekhmet looked like a three-year old about to cry. His huge eyes were watering, his lower lip began to tremble, and he was making odd, whimpering noises.
The other Warlords grimaced slightly, and looked at each other. When Sekhmet started a tantrum, it usually took Talpa or a frying pan to the head to shut him up. And they couldn't risk Talpa finding out about this. The television had been fight enough.
"Er, hey, Sekhmet," Kale said, trying to steer clear of any histrionics. "Where'd you get the money for this? You said you bought it, didn't you?"
Sekhmet smirked, oncoming tantrum forgotten. "That was some rich spinster you robbed."
Kale's eyes flashed sparks. "You went into my room?!" he shouted, going from a kneeling position to a crouch. "You went into my room?!" Anubis and Dais leapt clear as Kale pounced on Sekhmet. "How many times," he bellowed, spraying spit into Sekhmet's face, "have I told you guys - never go into my room! NEVER GO INTO MY ROOM!"
"But I needed money!" Sekhmet whined, his face and inch from Kale's, who was sitting on top of him, reading to pound his nose in. "Besides, I got games! Ehh... good ones!" And he held up the case of Tomb Raider from behind his back, hoping it would dissuade Kale in sparing his life and face.
Worked like a charm. Kale's eyes widened so much that Sekhmet could barely see his scar. Then they narrowed, and idiotic expression on his face. He took the game box, giggling incoherently, and stood up. Sekhmet crawled out from underneath him, shooting a triumphant look at Anubis and Dais, who were staring.
Kale glared at Sekhmet, eyes shooting poisoned daggers. But Sekhmet was immune to poison, so he wasn't really aware of what a close call he'd escaped.
"Let me see this," he growled, clutching the Tomb Raider box, "and I just may reconsider killing you." He stormed away with the box grasped tightly under one arm.
Nobody drew a breath until he was out of sight.
"Whew," Anubis sighed, flopping down on the couch. "I thought I was really going to have to save you!" He smirked at Sekhmet. "Heaven forbid."
Sekhmet stuck his tongue out at Anubis, and sat down in front of the Playstation, attempting to figure out how it worked.
"Too bad he took the game," Dais complained, hanging upside down from the rafters. "That would've been cool to play."
"He didn't take the game," Sekhmet informed them, trying to figure out what the two handles with buttons were for.
"Hello, are you blind as well as crazy?" Anubis yelled at him, annoyed again. "Didn't you see him take the box with him, wherever he went?"
"He took the box," Sekhmet agreed, "but he didn't take the game." He held up a CD case with the words, 'Tomb Raider' on it, smirked, and turned back to the machine.
Anubis and Dais looked at each other, both thinking the same thing, Methinks he's smarter than he lets on.
After about ten minutes of tense silence, punctuated only by the rafters creaking under Dais' weight and Sekhmet's occasional mutterings, the green-haired Warlord finally threw something down in frustration.
"What?" Anubis asked, opening his eyes from his temporary nap.
"I can't figure it out!" Sekhmet complained, frowning at the Playstation.
Why am I not surprised? Anubis thought, but said, "What can't you figure out?"
"How to work this thing!" Sekhmet shouted, now very ticked off. Anubis sighed and rose to go over to his companion. Dais watched detachedly from the ceiling.
"See, it gives you these two little handle things with buttons, but it doesn't tell you what to do with them!" he complained, pointing at the directions. Anubis looked at them, then at the handles, then at Sekhmet.
"Sek, they're how you control what your player's doing," he told him, hardly able to believe he hadn't grasped such a simple concept.
"They are? Oh." While he contemplated that thought, Anubis went over to the TV and switched it on. A few more mutterings and curses could be heard by both Sekhmet and Dais, who had jumped down and was now standing by the purple-lidded man.
"Aha!" They both looked up at Anubis' triumphant exclamation. He turned around, grinning. "I got it! Well, guys, what do you want to play first?"
"TOMB RAIDER!" they both shouted in unison.
Anubis laughed. "All right. Well, I think I've figured out how this works, for the most part." He took the CD from Sekhmet, inserted it the wrong way into the Playstation, and closed the lid.
"Hey, nothing's happening!" Dais said, looking at the blank screen.
"Maybe you stuck it in wrong, Anubis," Sekhmet said, peering into the cover.
"Hey, that's the part that says the game's name, right?" Anubis argued. "Then that's probably the part with all the information on it."
"Yeah, like what, the copyright date?" Dais asked sarcastically. He opened the lid, switched sides, and replaced the cover. The machine spun to life and the words 'Tomb Raider' appeared on the screen.
Anubis glowered for a moment, then seized a control handle. Sekhmet got the second one, which left Dais at loose ends.
"Hey!" the one-eyed Warlord shouted. "I wanna play!"
"Well, I got it, and he figured it out, so you just have to wait," Sekhmet replied.
"But I figured out which way it went!" Dais argued.
"Uh... I figured out most of it!" Anubis shot back, and sat down cross-legged on the carpet and tried to figure out how the control handle worked.
"Hmm... these must be the directional buttons, and these must make her do things," Anubis said, looking at the screen, the handle, and back again. He pressed one button; Lara jumped. He pressed another; she ran forward. He pressed another, she fired her gun.
"Hey, cool!" Sekhmet went crazy. He pressed buttons so fast that it was a wonder he didn't break the machine. It certainly confused the game, and Lara went around in circles, ran into walls, and got stuck in corners.
"Whoa, Sekhmet! Slow down!" Anubis complained, trying to keep up with him. It was no use, but eventually Sekhmet slowed down, all right; he killed himself by pressing the wrong button when backed into a corner.
"Aww! I died!" He hit the start button and began again.
After about an hour, Dais started complaining again. "Hey, you've had your fun! Can I play, now?"
"Yeah. Me too." Kale had rejoined the group, and was now staring down at Sekhmet and Anubis. "Our turns."
"Wait a second..." Sekhmet died again and restarted. So did Anubis.
"Oh, no you don't!" The two Warlords seized the other two by their collars and hauled them back before they even knew what was happening. Once they were out of the way, Kale and Dais sat down and began to play.
"Oww." Sekhmet rubbed his head where it had slammed into the wall. Anubis' face was stuck under the couch, but he pulled it off and brushed a dust bunny off his nose.
"Oh, well. I guess it's their turn," he said, relaxing on the couch and watching the other two make fools of themselves.
After about another hour, they all heard something that made their hearts sink; "Anubis, Kale, Dais, Sekhmet, report to the throne room at once."
"Damn," muttered Anubis under his breath. Then, louder, "Yes, Master Talpa." He rose and turned the game off.
"Hey!" Kale protested. "I was winning!"
"You'll be losing your head if Master Talpa finds out about this," Anubis reminded him. The others muttered, but they all teleported to the throne room.
____
About three hours later, all four of them came back into the TV room, only this time, Anubis was sporting a few singes on his subarmor plus some minor cuts and scratches, not to mention a severely dented dignity.
"I guess you shouldn't have taken that assignment after all, Anubis?" Kale taunted. "Wildfire seems to be stronger inside the volcano."
Anubis just glared at him, turned the Playstation back on, and looked at the games. "I'm sick of Tomb Raider," he said, sorting through them. "How 'bout Mortal Kombat?"
"Sure." Dais took the spot next to him and began playing. He was Scorpio, while Anubis - after that little bout with Wildfire, it seemed fitting - was Sub-Zero. He lost.
"Ha ha!" Dais gloated while Anubis stared in shock at the screen. "You lost!"
"I want a rematch!" Anubis growled. They restarted, and this time he won. "Ha!" Now it was his turn to look smug.
"Outta the way, both of you," Kale demanded, shoving them both over. "It's my turn."
"Me too!" Sekhmet chimed in, hopping into place before Dais could regain his seat.
They lost track of all time until they all heard a sound that made them start. It started out as a low growl, then turned into a high-pitched squeal, accompanied by rumbling. They all stared at each other, and then they all looked at Kale.
"Uh, what?" he asked, looking sheepish, attempting to blend into the carpet, stomach grumbling.
Anubis just sighed and got up from the couch. "Well, I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm hungry, so you'd better get to the kitchen before I do, or there'll be nothing left." He started down the hall.
It wasn't long before he heard a steady thunder that grew louder with each second. He turned around, and was promptly trampled by Kale, Dais, and Sekhmet as the barreled over him and stampeded into the kitchen, shouting, shoving, and laughing, like a group of teenage boys.
Peeling himself off the floor, and now sporting a black eye as well as the cuts and singes, Anubis limped into the kitchen, hoping there would be some small scrap of food left now that the other three were there.
He was in luck. Kale and Sekhmet were fighting over the milk, so Anubis was able to snag some bread and lunchmeat before they got to it. With a despairing look at the empty whiteness inside, he closed the refrigerator, reminding himself that they needed to go shopping.
Normally, Talpa had Badamon provide the food, which was little more than hard tack and swill in taste and nutritional value. They were still assuring Talpa that they were barely through with the first order, and had made several trips to the mortal markets for sustenance. They had sent Anubis; he could read their script, count their money, and he looked the most normal out of all of them (hence the title they called him behind his back: Geek).
Besides, he was the only one who could remember Sekhmet's craving for marshmallows. The first time they had sent Kale, and he had come back with everything but the kitchen sink, including some items - like marshmallows - of which they had no clue existed. Sekhmet had tried the strange white puffs on a dare, and now, whether it was the sugar or just Sekhmet, he was addicted to them.
"Hey, guys, ease up, or you're gonna spill it," Dais called from the ceiling. Privately Sekhmet wondered how he could eat and drink hanging upside down without getting a headrush or choking. But he had other things to worry about, as the milk carton that both he and Kale had been tugging on ripped apart, and they, two pieces of cardboard and milk went flying. It splattered all over the hardwood floor.
"Aw, man!" Kale moaned, looking at the mess. "Get a sponge, snakeface, or this stuff'll start to smell."
"Don't call me snakeface, wolf-boy," Sekhmet whined, and disappeared.
"Snakeface," Kale muttered under his breath. "And I'm not wolf-boy."
Anubis just sighed, and shook his head.
____
The weeks passed. The spent more and more time on the Playstation, when not undertaking various commands for Talpa. But even the Dark Lord began to notice when, after about a month, his castle spies began to report some odd... er... occurrences.
For one, he had reports coming in that Kale was walking around, muttering nonsense, like "She's got too many hands, that's not fair..." Second, Anubis and Sekhmet, who normally avoided each other except in the throne room, seemed to be hanging around each other more and more often. It was reported that they would both go to the library or some other quiet place, and one of them - usually Anubis - would sit down and seem to concentrate, while Sekhmet just stood there. After about five minutes, Anubis would come out of his trance with a gasp, and say, "Damn! I still can't sense it!" Then they would switch places.
Dais had been trying to jump from rafter to rafter. He almost made it, too, except for one time he landed on a half-rotted beam and fell right on top of Kale. The fight that had ensued had been intense but brief, and royally entertaining. Dais finally got Kale in a headlock and made him say "Uncle", whatever that meant.
Sekhmet had been jumping off cliffs. Not that that wasn't too unusual in itself, but he seemed to be doing it a lot more lately, as if he was trying to fly. Undoubtedly, the Ronin Warriors or something else had knocked whatever screws he had left loose.
And all of them had been responding late to his summons. That was what ticked Talpa off the most. They were his Warlords, and if they didn't do as he said, then they didn't get their Christmas bonuses!
"Anubis, Sekhmet, Dais, Kale, come to the throne room immediately!" Talpa's voice boomed throughout the castle. He waited. And waited. Still no response.
"Warlords, assemble now! I command you!" He was getting mad.
Nothing.
Now Talpa was really mad. What was wrong with them? He searched the castle for them, and found them in the TV room, two of them playing on a device of which he had never seen, and certainly not approved of!
"Anubis! Dais! Kale! Sekhmet! What is the meaning of this insubordination?"
All four jumped as Talpa's head floated into view, and each somehow managed not to start shaking. Busted.
"And what is this device that you consider more interesting than your paycheck?" Talpa boomed. The image seemed to eye the Playstation, and the figures moving across the screen.
Sekhmet suddenly found his voice. "I... er... it's called a Playstation, Master Talpa, and it's really quite interesting. Would you like to -"
Sekhmet yelped at the hand that proffered the controller to the specter was suddenly shocked by a blast of purple light. He dropped the handle and held his hand, while the others looked on, petrified. The green-haired Warlord looked up fearfully at his master.
"This is what happens to those who attempt to ignore me!" Talpa shouted. A thick beam of purple energy shot out from the floating image, straight at the Playstation. The machine quickly became a charred and melted piece of scrap. "Now, that that meddling piece of machinery is out of the way, you four need to come to the throne room. Now. I have things to discuss with you." With that, the image faded.
Sekhmet stared in shock at the once-proud Playstation. It was a disgusting lump of blackened plastic and the wires sparked at random intervals.
"You couldn't save it," Anubis said, placing a hand on his fellow Warlord's shoulder. "C'mon, let's go before Talpa gets angrier."
Sekhmet took one last look at his pride and joy for the past three months, then sorrowfully followed his comrades to the throne room.
____
When they were through failing Talpa again, all four Warlords gathered together what was left of the Playstation and gave it a formal burial. They rest of the Warlords just bowed their heads, but Sekhmet wanted to cry. It had been his Playstation; he bought it, he put it together, and he got the games for it and everything. Then that mean old Talpa had to go and blow it up. Some thanks this was for over four hundred years of service!
"...and so, Playstation, we thank thee," Anubis concluded. The rest of them bowed their heads and muttered "Amen," before heading off.
"Man, I don't even want to go back to the castle," Dais complained. "There's nothing to do now, except sit and listen to Talpa rant."
"Tell me about it," Anubis agreed. All four of them trudged along ruefully, finding whatever excuse they could to stop and linger. Dais chucked a few rocks into a nearby stream. Kale climbed a tree to "check something out". Anubis paused to study a particular kind of plant.
Suddenly, Sekhmet stopped.
"Hey, guys," he said. "I have an idea."
____
"Oooh! So close!" Rowen taunted. Kento just grumbled as the Game Over screen appeared on the TV.
"Man, I can't believe it!" the young man complained, flopping back to lean against the couch. "On the last level and what happens? Stupid bazooka battery dies on me."
"Oh, well, Kento. You'll get it next time," Sage said absently, not looking up from the book he was reading. He could read through anything, freight train or Kento on the Playstation.
"Yeah, right. That's what you said an hour ago," Kento shot back, looking up at Halo, who was on the couch.
Ryo laughed softly. "Well, you can't say you didn't try," he said reassuringly.
Just then the doorbell rang. To the back door. All four heads turned around, and Sai poked his head out from the kitchen door.
"I wonder who that could be?" Ryo wondered aloud, getting up. He opened the back to Mia's mansion, where they were staying.
Imagine his surprise when all four Warlords showed up on the back porch!
Ryo's mouth opened in shock. He stared out at the four towering men, eyes wide. Everyone else inside stared as well, too dumbstruck to get up or move.
It was after the first few moments that Ryo realized they weren't attacking him. In fact, they weren't even in their armor. They were in their subarmor, and they all looked disconsolate.
"Hey," Sekhmet said, startling him. "Can we play on your Playstation? Talpa blew ours up."
Ryo closed his mouth. All of the Warlords looked at him rather hopefully. The bearer of Wildfire eyed them scrutinizingly for a moment, then looked at his friends. One by one the look of surprise left them, and they looked at each other. They shrugged, and Ryo turned back to Sekhmet.
"Sure. C'mon in."
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Okay, so this story is was the heck out there in left field, but who cares? Anyhoo, I just thought it would be funny if, you know, after hours, the Warlords went over to Mia's house to play video games behind Talpa's back (after all, he's just a floating head, how bright can he be? ;P) Besides, it helps explain why, even though one Warlord is easily more than a match for one Ronin, why they keep losing to them. Off-hour debts! Woo-hoo! :P